Shell was a beautiful bride

Shell got married last Sunday (5/21) and it was so beautiful -- she was so beautiful! Here are a couple pics ...



They look so wonderful! That's my boob to the left -- can't keep those things out of the picture, evidently!



This is such a pretty picture of Shell -- I wish it were lighter, but that's what the professionals were for!



I got under Shell's dress before Richard! Of course, he was left holding the bouquet ...



The happy wedding party ... before we got down and partied!

Sapphire bullets of Pure Love (aka The Vacation)

Sapphire bullets of Pure Love (aka The Vacation)

The vacation was awesome, and I'd let myself go on and on but I don't want to bore you with the details, so I'm bulleting again. If you wish for me on expound on anything, let me know! :)

-Sunday
**we left immediately after the wedding to get to Albany, GA, thinking it would take until 1-2am to get there but ended up checking into the Motel 6 there around 9:30pm. The room was clean but in a sketchy part of town, so while I slept rather well, Christen was up once an hour to check on the car. It was good to get a headstart on our trip though!

-Monday
**Montgomery, AL: First White House of the Confederacy
**Burmingham, AL: Downtown
the mini-Statue of Liberty
Boy Scout HQ (don't ask me why)
**Huntsville, AL: Monte Sano State Park -- very pretty for camping

-Tuesday
**Columbia, TN: Home of James K. Polk
**Nashville, TN: Belmont Mansion
Grand Ole Opry (drive-by)
Bledsoe Creek State Park -- the best camping place we stayed at the whole time

-Wednesday
**Nashville, TN: the Capitol -- grave of James K. Polk
the Hermatage and grave of Andrew Jackson
**Memphis, TN: T.O. Fuller State Park (the worst of the parks, but we weren't there often so it didn't matter)
Pat O'Brien's -- fantastic food - their fried zucchini was amazing!
The Tap Room -- awesome bar on Beale Street

-Thursday
**Memphis, TN: Graceland -- we did the whole tour - the mansion, the planes, the museums ... very cool.
Tower Records
Sekisui sushi
Pink Palace Museum
Rock n Soul Museum
Club 152 - Elvis impersonator
accidentally took a trip across the Mississippi River to Arkansas
sat outside Celebrities Cafe on Beale drinking Newcastle watching a guy named Big Jerry play the blues with his band on the street
saw a great Rockabilly band in one of the bars on Beale

-Friday
**Jackson, MS: Oaks House Museum
soda shop emporium
**Mobile, AL: Best Western (yeah, no campsite here)

-Saturday
Mobile, AL: Fort Conde - why did the guide books not say this was a repro?
Conde-Charlotte Museum- not open but we peeked in the windows
Brag-Mitchell Museum- not open either! what is it with this place?
USS Alabama - very neat, and huge!
Felix Fish House - amazing food - crab soup and shrimp and crab au gratin
Greenville, FL: Super 8 for the night

-Sunday
**home! It was fun but it's nice to be home. If only I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow!

Pure poetry for you

for autumn.

autumn is death

for the play in numbers

finding joy in places

of brilliant creation.

autumn is death

with a straight razor

at the throat of a plump gazelle

or boar, stealing life

from worthlessness.

autumn is life

within death

a voice of succulent

maliciousness

in her marrow

of midnight danger.

autumn brings me

dandelions and calla lilies

in fanciness

in happiness

and in death.

***********************************

unnamed.

humbles bodies bound to the sheets

and tablets

of my youth

I am setting them to

their freedom

drenched in the

dreary dances of martyrs,

tiptoeing promises by

way of thy

turquoise inkwells

and cranberry dreams.

Sangria in the sands.

************************************

Commune

Quiet rains on the little children

feigning stillness, their minds

running the quarter-mile track as

antsy fingers drum on pews.

They will know darkness once again.

Intangible knowledge of the

original love and death

roses and apples

red wine in little cups

for the little children bathed in white

before midnight comes

the midnight will come

the midnight has come

the white will turn to black

will turn to red

ruby blood in little cups

raining on the little children.

**************************************

Thunder Oath

Gin

rivers flowing upstream in the briskness

Gimme a light, he will scream into the wind.

I will hold him close, the small fire of ash burning

Deepness

Into me.

Forgive the moment

I wanted tonic

In my life

You were worth knowing too.

Creature hangs in midair

To choke retorts

In Greek to the masses

Gimme a light, he will whisper to the whore

But there is no light to be held

in her breasts.

Only death.

Christen the fortune

Of men who knew life in her arms

For they are spared in the ecstasy

Of dreams.

One who knows death

Can never know pain.

They will down in the rivers of

Gin

barreling upstream.

Culinary Pornography and Other Books read:

Love in the Time of Cholera: I finally finished this one, and it was fantastic. Utterly fantastic.

The Hours: I wasn't impressed by the book itself; I found it a bit dull. I was, however, very intrigued by the structure: Three Lives - the dreamer/reader, the writer and the living story. The end was an easy one to guess, not the actions but how everyone is tied together.

The Kite Runner: I only got 4 pages into this and had to give it back to Christen's mom, from whom I borrowed it on the Pensacola trip. But I will start it again next month, because the four pages I read were quite good :)

Garlic and Sapphires: I must say that I love Ruth Reichl. It's like food porn, her culinary memoirs. I've read two others of hers, Tender at the Bone and Comfort me with Apples, as well as a short story/excerpt book that she was featured in. This book is just as delicious as the others, and I can't wait to try some of the recipes (she always sprinkles her books with recipes instead of pictures).

Shower you with bullets

Long time no see,

So it has come to my attention that I have been neglecting my blog. I know I have; I just haven't the time for it lately. However, I was told that I need to think of my dear readers and put a couple lines up here so you know I'm not dead (yet) so I thought I would brief you in bullets (but not debrief you in bullets; that would be bad). Since last we spoke:

**Went to Pensacola for Christen's cousin Matt's wedding. The wedding was beautiful, the bar open, and the seafood delicious but mostly overpriced. The best place we ate was Peg-Legged Pete's on the beach, which had a fantastic fish chowder. There was a place named Crabs (we got 'em) which we didn't eat at but it lent itself to a barrage of jokes for the weekend.

**Went to the band reunion this weekend. It was so fun; I had an amazing time and caught up with so many old friends. Friday night was the concert, Saturday afternoon the picnic, Saturday night the banquet and afterward we overran Chili's and then went back to one guy's house for a party and I didn't get home until 6am! I don't generally party that hard, but it was so nice to hang out with some of the old crowd -- it was like no time had passed. I can't wait to start hanging out with those that I can soon :)

**Sunday was Mother's Day but my mom had to work all day so I took the kids shopping for her and to the mall, etc. We had an all around good time and Mom came over that night for dinner and to hang out for a bit -- I made shrimp kabobs and rice for us and chicken for the kids (they don't do shrimp) and Jamie made brownies for dessert. We ate outside on the deck and visited -- an all-around great relaxing night.

**Shell's wedding: coming up this weekend. I've made beach bags and painted wine goblets for the bachelorette party, and everything looks great. We are making our own flower arrangements on Friday morning for the wedding, and the bachelorette party is Friday night (we're doing a spa night with massages, manicures and pedicures, and wine and a beachfront hotel. Saturday is the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner and Shell and I are staying in the honeymoon suite at the wedding location that night. Sunday she gets hitched!

**After the wedding Christen and I are going on vacation -- yay! It's well-deserved and well-needed, I think. We haven't decided where to go; we're supposed to do some deciding tonight. Usually I like going up to the Carolinas, but he wants to head more west, like Missouri, Mississippi and stuff. Please tell me what there is to do in those areas, and what the camping is like? I'm a little wary.

Well, that's all for now. If I'm not back again before June, you know it's because I've been busy not because I don't love you!

Clarification on a tired topic:

I'm posting this in response to the comments I've gotten from my dear readers about my wedding plight. I'm only posting this here, not on MySpace, because I really don't want him to read it and I'm not sure if he does read the MS blog but I know he doesn't read this one: I forbade it about 2 1/2 years ago and I don't think he's looked back since. So here goes:


Christen and I have been together for about 3 1/2 years now. We started dating in December 2002 and have since been joined at the hip. We love each other with a love that I have never known before, either in giving or receiving. I know, without a doubt, that he is the one for me. He as well often mentions that I am the only one for him.

About the wedding, though, he and I have been talking seriously about getting married for more than a year. We talk in passing about our colors, our flowers, what kind of car we want to take us from the wedding to the reception ... this talk isn't at all one-sided. We both have brought things up about it when we think about it. He's taken me ring shopping once. Sunday we were at the beach and he brings up how before the wedding he wants to work out a lot to get back to the shape he was in before we started dating and I fattened him up (that last part is my embellishment, but we all know it's true). I said, "What wedding?" because we're going to two in the next five weeks and I can't imagine him dropping too much weight between now and then. "Ours, of course" was his response. Of course.

So I've been getting a little frustrated at the fact that a very large chunk of my friends have been getting married and/or engaged in the last year. And by a large chunk I mean more than 20. So my thoughts are consumed by weddings. Planning other people's, deciding what to get for this or that bridal shower, and in the meantime I've started planning ours. It just happened: I was helping his cousin shop for a dress for her wedding and I picked out mine. I was with my best friend shopping for bridesmaids dresses and I picked out the ones I wanted too. And it doesn't help that he eggs it on -- he asked me over lunch a few weeks ago what colors I had decided on for the wedding.

In the immortal words of Billy Crystal, "When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." So this is where I am on the subject.

He, on the other hand, seems to think the talking comes easier than the doing. I've tried figuring out what the problem is. He's very traditional, so I know he doesn't want me to propose to him. And I've explained to him that if money is the issue, I don't need much of a ring to start. A pretty promise ring or something is quite fine with me -- upgrades can always come later. But I think (I think, because he's not quite so forthcoming with information) is that he just wants everything to be perfect first. He's not at the job that he wants right now, we don't have all the money we'd like to have right now, etc etc. But life isn't perfect, and I guess he doesn't realize that right now.

The reason I've stopped talking to him about wedding stuff is twofold. a) because it bothers me to talk about something that isn't happening right now, and b) because I don't want to pressure him into doing something he's now ready for. I know we're meant to be together. I just wish the rest of my life would start sooner rather than later.

How I know she's mine.

So I was heating up my "Legumes of the Gods" (see prior entry) and Lola had gotten into something, as she always does. It sounded like she was eating a bead, and I knew I didn't have any beads out and about that she could get to, so I was concerned. Actually I'd be concerned if she was eating a bead too, as they're small and can get lodged in her throat ... but that's a digression. Anywho, so I tried to get her to spit it out, but of course she won't, so I go back into the kitchen while looking back at her to see if it falls out of her mouth. Even though it's small, I can see that she's having trouble with whatever t is, so I watch and then it falls. I grab the nape of her neck so she doesn't go back in for the kill and pick up the little piece of something to inspect it further. It's glass. A little piece of reddened glass. You know why she's chewing on it? Because it's there.

Speaking of which, I need to go out today and get some underwear. I'm pitifully low on stock, and it's her fault. They always end up in the back yard. But I guess it's cheaper than the shoes I was replacing before.

Legumes of the gods

So I'm now addicted to these boiled peanuts in a bag that they sell at the grocery store -- absolutely fabulous :)



Please explain one thing: I know they're amazing, but why-oh-why are they being sold on eBay?

Looks like I fooled them!

How evil are you?

Gridlock

Originally posted April 13

When I was in college and living more than a half hour by highway from school, if I got on the interstate and it was too jammed, I'd likely turn around and go back home. Nowadays, I live exactly 20 miles from work, which is usually a 30-minute drive. Now, mind you, I never ever get to work on time. Ever. I think I feel worse about this than my bosses, as they never seem to care since I get my work done. Damn gridlock.

April Fool's:

originally posted April 13

Stacy has decided that the full month of April is all about the pranks. She and this guy in Atlanta have been pranking eachother back and forth ... so she decided to have him help her pull a prank on us -- but it backfired. Here's the scoop:

Stacy and Bob decide to have him email her friends: April, Other April and Suzanne; and say that when she comes home in May that he's going to ask her to move back to Atlanta. So he does send this email, but instead of just saying that he plans on asking her this, he outlines the joke and wants the girls to go along with him on a joke on Stacy where they go all for it and tell her she should move back with him.

Before this joke really gets started, Stacy calls April and tells her about the joke because she feels bad about pranking them. She's worried that they're going to get mad. April reassures her that they won't be mad and that she should go ahead with the joke. April then calls Other April and tells her of the confession (the girls already knew about the joke to begin with). So by the time April gets to work the next day it is decided that Other April and Suzanne will play that they are mad because they figured out the joke.

So on the same day Stacy tries to make plans with TJ, a guy who works with the girls (but not Stacy, she works with a different company now) for him to drive all the girls out to have lunch with her sometime next week. So he sends out the email, and Other April convinces him to tell Stacy that April is in, but Other April and Suzanne are out because they said they're mad about something. So then Stacy gets worried and starts emailing April and Bob (the one in Atlanta) trying to figure out why they're mad (thinking it's because of the joke). April and Bob become evasive, saying they don't know, haven't had time to check, blah blah blah.

April suggests to Stacy that if she thinks they are mad at her, she should email them and find out why. So she does, and Other April emails back that she's not having a problem with work, but that she found out some things that she's disappointed about and she doesn't want to talk about it by email. And Stacy says, "with me?" and Other April says yes, but she's not going to talk about it on the computer.

So this freaks Stacy out big time. Her fears have come true -- she made her friends mad with this silly joke about her moving back to Atlanta with Bob, whom she just met a month ago. She's pacing her office, fighting back the tears, when the email comes back from Other April:

I'm disappointed in you ... for falling for it! April Fool's!

Castles and Princesses:

Originally posted on April 12

Shell and I went out to Target last night after making wedding favors to get more candy for the wedding favors (who knew these things were going to take so many bags of candy? We've done 25 bags of candy and we still have more to make!) and we ended up walking through the baby clothes. I don't think I needed to do that. Everyone I know (within reason) is getting married, or having kids (even though some of them haven't told their parents about said kids ... you know who you are) and I feel like I'm just sitting here, stagnant. I think I'm becoming resentful, and I don't know what to do about that. I'm really happy, most of the time. We have a great relationship, we have a house and a dog and stable jobs (although we'd really like him to find a better job) and everything generally is wonderful. But I long for my life to move on.

I've stopped talking about marriage with him. We used to talk about it all the time, and make plans and decisions and everything in everyday conversation. We'd walk by a fancy car and he'd say, "Do you want to use one of those instead of a limo?" or we'd be talking over lunch about Shelley's wedding colors and he'd say, "What colors did you want to use?" We'd be in Wal-Mart and I'd say, "I think I want [these people] in the wedding party instead of [this person]," and he'd talk about who could be on his side.

I thought maybe it was the money. His cousin got a big ring, and I know he feels the pressure to upstage that (the husband is his best friend), but really I don't care as much about that. I'd like a big ring, of course, just like any girl. But it doesn't have to be right now. Right now it's more important to me that we get married and move on with our lives. The ring can always come later, right? So I told him so. And he was not receptive. I actually found the conversation stilted, one-sided and hostile. So I dropped that conversation too.

But there's all this talking and no movement. I can't do it anymore. So I've resolved to not talk about our wedding. Period. I'll talk with my girlfriends at work, and with Shelley, but he's cut off from conversation about it. Until it actually happens I've given up hoping it will. Maybe then I won't be so resentful.

Product Placement:

Originally posted April 12:

I've decided to use this forum for good: I'm promoting my new favorite personal hygiene product: the Crest Spin Brush. It's fantastic! Like going to the dentist every day, but without the drilling or the scraping or the guilt for not flossing. Seriously! I've converted all of my friends who weren't already addicted (except Suzanne; she likes the Oral B one because the head is smaller and she has sensitive gums ... now don't read anything dirty into that). But for $5 you get a fantabulous experience! Try one today!

Reflective like a carnival mirror:

Originally posted April 12:

So you know how most people say, "when you look back you'll forget all the bad and just remember the good?" Well, I have to say in hindsight I'm pessimistic as hell. I don't remember the good times right away. The fights, the loneliness, the break-ups, the anger, the daydreams of freedom -- I have a firm grasp on those memories. ... it's not until I find pictures, or letters crammed between the pages of a forgotten book that I am reminded that not everything about my past was black. There were flashes of good in there too, even happiness. I need to be reminded of this every now and again.

Slap my sweet ass and call me Sally:

Originally posted April 10:

So it is a long running idea that I hate hot sauces. Hate em. And it stems from the fact that I hate spicy foods. I just cant eat them they make my mouth uncomfortable. So Ive been going to Tiajuana Flats with the folks from work (Chuck calls it Fiesta time) and then Christen and I go every once in awhile, and I have started trying the hot sauces. Now, Im still a complete wuss at them; I have to let you know that up front. I tried Endorphine Rush (and ate all my tomatoes trying to get rid of the burn) and Don't be a Chicken Shit (not too bad) and one with pecans it it (terrible). But my favorite, and the one I get every time is Slap my Sweet Ass and Call Me Sally. It reminds me of Thai sweet chili sauce. Mmmm. So let it be known that, although a wuss, I have tried and liked a few hot sauces. Dont say I never attempted to branch out.

I'm a pusher, but not a drug pusher

Originally posted April 10:

I seem to have a lot of blogs backed up in my journal, so I thought Id mass drop them onto the server (woohoo! server crash!) and give my readers (of which there are two) my random ramblings. Today and tomorrow it is my intention to catch up on all my emails from the past week or so that I havent gotten to (so if youve written me and I havent written you back, never fear time is here!) that being said, if I havent written you back from Wednesday, Ive forgotten that I didnt reply to your email and you should probably write me again. :) I apologize in advance.

I am in need of book and music recommendations as of late. Books I dont read supernatural, or books with a lot of foreign names (its my quirk I get lost in the names unless I can substitute Bob or Harry or Soren the Bunny-slayer this is why I never got very far in The Battle Royale). Or comic books, unless they are just fantabulous (and I can find it in Barnes and Noble so I dont have to purchase it). These are my only stipulations. I like normal, wonderful language in novel form. As for music, I like anything except for rap and r&b. I just cant get into it, and youll be wasting your time trying to get me into it. I hear it at my moms house; its not like Im not exposed to it. But I love swing, rockabilly, classic rock, jazz, nerd rock (see the next entry on that), and anything thats well done or even catchy. Sometimes I get hooked on pop music like the rest of you (even you that say you hate pop music its a guilty pleasure because you can always sing along!) although Ill rarely buy these albums. I do need more music for the iPod. Its getting a little redundant lately.

Im entering the home stretch for the next month and a half: After the next 2 weekends, where Im not really required to do too much, I have: Christens cousins wedding, the TMBG show, Shelleys bridal shower, Shelleys bachelorette party, the band reunion, Shelleys wedding (noticing a trend here?) and the trip to Dallas for GeoWoodstock IV. If the weddings dont break the bank, Dallas will do it, Im sure. Im thinking about getting a small loan just to make sure theres money in my account when Im trying to do all this. :)

Im listening to Ben Folds sing Tiny Dancer right now. How do you put that in the listening to category? Hehe.

A tad more sane:

Originally posted April 6:

So I made ribs and smashed cauliflower for dinner, did the dishes, and got a life, so I'm a bit more sane than earlier. Well, for me anyhow. Decided to subscribe to a bunch of people's blogs ... yay for me, right? And I wrote a few more first sentences in my journal. One of these days I suppose I'll write more. I wrote a short story that Autumn asked me to write, and it was so torturous! And I wasn't thrilled with it once I finished -- it was too obscure. What I wanted to show through didn't come out at all. Don't you hate when that happens? But I'm working on it -- it'll all come together.

Regrets, Writer's Block and Petty Thoughts

Originally posted April 6:

Can you regret the way things came to pass and not regret the things you've done? The long drive home has given way to too many thoughts, too many memories rising to the surface like cream to be scraped off and discarded and yet they cannot be forgotten. I made my decisions and I'm sticking to them because they made me a better person, stronger and more whole. My entire list of friends on this thing are people I once knew, someone I was friends with, someone I was intimate with, someone I loved, someone I envied, someone I played with in the orange tree in the front yard. These things cannot be buried or changed; they just are.

I've been spending my time for the last six months planning. Planning for other people's lives -- their weddings, their children ... planning planning but not for my life, my wedding, my children. I feel so petty to think, when is it going to be me? I don't mean to sound bitter -- all I mean is, if you say you love me and want to spend the rest of our lives together, why can't the rest of our lives begin relatively soon?

I've not been able to write lately. And by lately, I mean the last two years. I have notebooks and notebooks of this and that. Scraps of ideas wadded in my purse. What can a lifetime of first lines get you though?

525,600 minutes

Originally posted April 1st:

I was watching Rent today and, of course, I was waxing nostalgic. So sue me.

How do you measure a year?

Just so you know

I'm not dead. I've actually been doing my blogging on MySpace. I'll forward those blogs to here ... eventually :) Otherwise, let me know if you're on myspace!