so what the fuck.

so i'm waiting for christen to get home and i've spent the whole day with adrian. i have nothing to show for it. the laundry isn't folded and i've filled 5 large boxes with books and dvds and tapes and listened to adrian drone on and on, as is his way. the apt. looks pretty much the same; it doesn't look like i've been working. and perhaps i haven't. i did take down all the pictures. the walls are barren again, like they were when we moved in except with nails in the walls. i'll have to fill those in. i think i'm not working because no one else is. i am alone in the sea of boxes and clothes and crap. that's all it is -- useless crap we surround ourselves with because we're too scared to be without it. i'll chuck it all. screw it; its less to move.
you know that's a lie.
i know that's a lie.
i'll pack it tomorrow.