excuse me, mr. bandwagon driver. i'd like to get off here.

no masturbation references. well, okay. you can reference. heck, you can even wank off, if you wish.
i wonder what i could get charged with for walking through the mall parking lot yanking off all those damn ribbons. would it be destruction of personal property? vandalism? would it be worth it? i think so.
ahhH! adding to christmas list: the dvd of empire records. i'm watching it on the hdtv station and there's parts i haven't seen. wow! like major differences! is there a rated r and a pg-13 version? i have the vhs, which i've worn way thin (and it'll go to my sister when i get the dvd because she is crazy about anything i'm fanatical about -- she's seen newsies almost as many times as i). aj and lucas are so hot. i'd even go for hawt. or hott. how many ways are there to spell it now? this is crazy cool, there being a different version than i'm used to. maybe i won't wait for christmas. do i ever wait for christmas?


an update before urbz.

the funny thing is, i have so much to say and no drive to blog. so i've made a list of what to write about that happened in the last week, since i know you've missed me terribly. and i've missed you.
1) my grandmother's in love. my dad actually started the conversation "we've lost your grandmother." she went on a cruise to hawaii and met some guy who lives in texas. they came back and moved into her place. then they started travelling the country. arkansas, south carolina, north carolina, texas ... they're supposed to be back soon, but no one can get ahold of either of them. my uncle just ends up with rushed messages on his answering machine.
2) dad lost $3000 in vegas. he went because he won the local billards competition and the finals we in vegas. he took $800, won $500 there before getting knocked out of the competition and spent the rest of the week playing blackjack. he got up to three grand and blew it all in the last day.
3) thanksgiving was fun. we spent it like usual, going to christen's dad's family house first for lunch turkey. this year they got most of it from publix. i missed my stuffing. i wanted to bring stuffing but they said they had enough and it ws that nasty stovetop shit. for the dinner meal we went to steak and ale with his mother's family. it was good, but not thanksgiving, really. i had a steak because i couldn't see ordering turkey from a restaurant. i did, however, have a sweet potato if that makes any difference. christen and i plan on having our leftover steaks tonight, but we're going to stuff them with feta cheese and re-grill them. yummy yummy.
4) black friday madness was, well, mad. but it wasn't really that bad except that the day didn't go by nearly as fast as one would have expected. our district was no. 1 in the company in sales. i need a new job.
5) ethan got his tattoo on friday night; i went with him. he got tux the linux penguin on his arm. yeah, all my friends are geeks. isn't it fun that way?
6) my sister is spending christmas eve with me. mom doesn't want glenn (ex-stepfather) threatening to keep christmas unless he can see jamie, so she's coming over here and spending the night. that's cool, though. we can do last minute shopping and wrapping together.
7) it doesn't feel like christmas yet. we've had intermittent days of cold weather, but it's not cold enough to wear my scarfs (though i did to dinner friday night) and very few people are playing christmas music in stores. everytime i try to play it at work i'm bombarded with death threats.
8) i went to the just books sidewalk sale and bought 16 books. yay, books. i even bought some interesting non-fiction books just because. like blossom of bone -- reclaiming the connections between homoeroticism and the sacred. sound interesting? i told my boss about it and he just kinda looked at me odd. it's alright; i'm used to that. i saw another book there called look homeward erotica, but i didn't buy it. i showed restaint. but after i bought all those books, i went to target and bought something guaranteed to prevent me from reading all my new books and even from blogging. i bought urbz- sims in the city for gba. yay! i've been playing it all weekend. i got very mad because i got pretty far into it and the damn game started freezing. everytime i tried to buy something from the thrift store it would freeze. so i took it back to the local target (i bought it from the supertarget) and they charged me 26 cents because of the tax difference. pain in the ass.
9) high score last night: 157. all scores: 137, 157, 136, 127, 151, 142. they say i'm getting more consistant, but at least i had some better scores on the board so it makes me feel like i may actually be getting better too. that game i got a 151, though, kyle got a freaking 206. so that sucks.
anyhow, i think that covers it. so if i'm not around, you know what i'm doing. work is calling (or will be if i wait any longer to get ready, because i'll be mad late, yo.)


pants a'fire

blogger lies. it says i have 44 posts but this is no. 60. huzzah, no. 60! 60 is incidentally the amount of geocaches i have to my name. -- and they say it's all about the numbers. i ain't no number 'ho.
anywho. the editor-in-chief at my old newspaper was forced to resign because of plagarism. i'm so glad i'm not there anymore. i loved it dearly while i was there, but i think it way downhill directly after my class left. i feel bad; i know there's great people still there, i just hope that they can get it all together and put together a good paper again. i know they can. he wasn't the eic while i was there; he started in the fall but he was news editor while i was there. maybe he was too young and the pressure got to be too much. dunno. enough of that.
the car my mom is getting is still there. she freaked out because when i went by to check it out it was gone and she was scared it got sold. she's getting a purple nissan sillouette. she's already bought new bumper stickers. "my karma ran over your dogma" "do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with katsup" "i'm only supposed to use my powers only for good" (or something like that) and another one but i don't remember what it was. why, oh why does she have to junk up her new car? it was well taken care of before her. oh well, it's not my car. she says it's really only to keep the JWs away from her front door, but people stand on her corner and pray. maybe that's why she keeps such big dogs.
i have a new favorite quote:
"I don't know yet what I am capable of doing, but, by God, i have genius -- I know it too well to blush behind it." --Thomas Wolfe

odd; is my head supposed to throb in time to mr. roboto?

high score last night: 139.
all scores: (saturday with the kids, 116,118) sunday 128, 139, 99, 125, 109, 117.
why am i not getting any better? is it truly because i don't have my own ball, or should i take lessons, or is it possible that i just have already hit my high score (156) and am destined never to bowl better than that? i need to know if it's a lost cause, so i can drown my sorrows in sweet tea. last night i had two bailey's before we left for dinner and i had most of a guinness at applebee's. mostly because i don't like applebee's. and they didn't have yuengling. i had chicken alfredo that had no taste.
was sick at work today. not like barfing in the dumpster sort of sick (although if the store had smelled like that nasty squid stuff from the asian market next door it would have been a possibility). the sickness was more of a severe allergy problem that made my head all cloudy and icky, and when that dried up a little my throat and ear started hurting. i stayed for 5 1/2 hours of my 8 hour shift. afterward i stopped by mr. jacoby's bookstore to see if he had any of the books that luke recommended. this time i came with a list. he couldn't find any except the orchid thief (which i bought for $6 almost new), but i am to call his wife tomorrow and she'll check the warehouse. and he invited me to an invite-only saturday morning sale, where about 2,000 books will be sold for a buck a piece. ahh, the most beautiful part of a rummage sale. the cheap books. christen will kill me; he'll also be there with me if i don't let him sleep while i hoard.
i also bought look homeward, angel, which i've been itching to read ever since asheville. i always forget to look for a copy when i'm at a bookstore, and just books is so deliciously well-organized. he thoughtfully reminded me of my wish to buy him out when he retired and i also thoughtfully reminded him of my lack of funds with which to purchase said bookstore.
my book of the day was tender at the bone, by ruth reichl. it was a wonderful book, easily the most satisfying read in awhile. it's a memoir by a food critic who decided she could learn who people are and what they mean to her by what they eat and where they like to eat it. me: seasoned but not spicy, and eclectic. that's me, through and through. give me bread and something to dip it in and i'm happy.


it's 7:39pm -- do you know where your serial killer is?

i decided on a glass of baileys before tonight's festivities. i always want to drink when my mom cries when i leave. and since i saw her, she cried when i left. i might feel bad, or honored, or something like that except that she's not crying about my leaving; she's crying because there's yet another thing wrong in her life and nobody will listen to her.
i feel bad; really, i do. but i've been taking care of her all my life. i lend her money; i give her a cell phone that i pay for (and i replace it every time she breaks it); i take the kids for weekends so that she has some time to herself. i'm half her age and i feel like her mother all the time. sometimes it breaks me. it broke me. i'm having another drink.
also breaking me is that i gave in and am closing saturday. i really don't want to, but i feel bad because jess worked for me today. so i'm closing saturday. drop in and say hi!
i hope that lady calls me about that other job.
so my mom's car is dead. it broke down a few weeks ago and she's been having trouble finding someone to fix it. newest diagnosis: she siezed the engine. goodbye shitty van. hello shitty car with which she has to replace shitty van.
everytime my brother seems normal to me, he goes and fucks it up and makes me realize he's never going to get better. his best friend gave him a piece of paper on which to write a recommendation for him for geography. my brother is 14. this other kid (also has asberger's) is 13 but two grades behind because of his illness. on said piece of paper, he wrote the following:
marky is good at losing to other people.
marky is good at being fat.
marky is good at making other people feel smart.
marky's mom pounded on the door at 10:30 at night waking my mom up about this, and they woke ian up to yell at him about this, and took him over to marky's to apologize. now this is the way ian has always been, but i never thought he'd hurt someone about it. i'm really just dumbfounded. and i know he's got a disorder and that he'll never be exactly normal. but he knows right from wrong. most of the time.


no title.

also, i watched requiem for a dream tonight. it was ... interesting. i'll bring it back for you soon, ivan. it's only been, what, a month? two?


nothing like making stew with a $20 porterhouse.

christen's dad gave us a couple porterhouse steaks last sunday but we forgot them in the truck so they thawed out and they couldn't be refrozen. so we put them in the fridge to cook this week, but he's been closing every night and we couldn't cook them. so thursday night we grilled one of them, and since the steaks were really on their last legs (or whatever cut it was) i cut up the other steak and made a damn good stew with it. but i still made tuna for dinner (yeah, i was still a little hungry after the fudgecicle ... dern protein).
wednesday's book was romeo by elise title. a paperback-sort of book, but it's very well done in the whole psycho-sexual thriller way. it actually scared the crap out of me. i was up most of the night (though it may be because christen was up until almost 5 playing gta). i didn't fall asleep until after 5 and i was up at 6:30 for work. ick. now you know why i haven't been particularly prolific lately.
there's this singer named richard cheese who sings really great '50s big band versions of songs. look him up. i'm listening to beck's loser as sung big band-y. also sung by him: baby got back. you really must hear this.
speaking of seeing/hearing ... check this link out. and turn up the volume for maximum effect. really. you'll thank me. it's quite amazing.
i've got my brother and sister for the weekend. i pick them up tomorrow and we've got the whole weekend together. he's 14 and she's 12. it will be a weekend of geocaching, bowling, mini golf, go carts, and movies and gorging. ahh, children. can't wait to have one of my own someday. and then i will again spoil them and hand them off to my mother.

oh my darling clementine ...

you should be singing huckleberry hound-style here. i bought a box of clementines yesterday (clarification -- i dropped them in the cart; christen technically bought them) and my-oh-my are they tasty. are they? yum. i ate two and a fudgecicle for dinner. hehe. i love being on my own sometimes. no one to tell me how to eat.
christen is going to a bachelor party tonight. a friend of his knocked up his girlfriend and they're getting married next friday. i told him no lap dances. (ivan cover your ears ... i mean eyes) no one is allowed to get that close to his dick -- hands off. so no lap dances. but i don't think i have too much of a problem with his going to some cheesy strip club. i don't think i do, anyhow. as long as he doesn't crawl into bed tonight smelling like sex.
you know the song "you're so vain" ... you're so vain, you probably think this song is about you ... i was listening to it yesterday on 107.3 and i kept thinking -- you know, this is just like when those stupid chicks tell guys "if you don't know why i'm mad at you, i'm not telling you. you should know." and so the song started to annoy me. and i love that song. arg. if you think the song is about you, you're not likely to admit it because that would mean you're that vain, and if you don't think it's about you, well it's probably not. what ever happened to the chicks that just outright says "you're a vain sonuvabitch" and throws a drink in his face? friggin' mind games, i tell you.
luke, thanks for recommending eats, shoots and leaves. that's a great freaking book. what's amusing is that my ex-roommate (the one who i gave my job when i left the paper) recommended it when jordan and i went over to his new place a few months ago but never said what it was about. also, christen told me the joke on the back of the book (though he botched it considerably) and said he got it off a book we carried at work, but i never made the connection. i've been reading it at work now, and it's made it to my christmas list. i don't care that i'll already have finished it by then; i want my very own copy.
i had more to say but i spent the last hour arguing with a friend about the benefits of grammar, so now i'm dry. more later.


god loves sushi rice.

as do i, of course. i bought a 5lb bag from that asian market on saturday so i made some today. yay, it was yummy and sticky, just like tasty take-out chinese rice.
i read michael connelly's lost light today. it was not bad, in a hard-boiled sort of way. it perpetrated stereotypes and had a lot of cliches, but after the last two it wasn't too bad. anyone have good book ideas for me? my favorite authors are pat conroy, nick hornby, alice sebold, frank norris and later dean koontz (the ones without aliens). i need new reading material.
oh, and in the name of christmas and giving and all that, i've started a christmas list blog so you know what to get me. i've linked it right below my resume, because it's probably best for me to get a job before a tom lehrer box set.

dead puppies, poisoned pigeons and me.

dead puppies aren't much fun.
they don't come when you call,
they don't chase squirrels at all ...

if it were spring i'd be singing:
All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Every Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

but for now i guess it's just:
Take your cigarette from its holder,
And burn your initials in my shoulder.
Fracture my spine,
And swear that you're mine,
As we dance to the Masochism Tango.

as you see, i've got it bad for tom lehrer (the first one isn't him but it's on dr. demento's 20th anniversary, which is the best one except for when they had TMBG on the 25h anniversary edition)
one of these days i'll actually get some of the tom lehrer albums, which are so great. he's so great. you hear that tom? you're fabulous, dahling.


we are the knights who say ni!

A 19-year old virgin, you live in the Castle Anthrax. You use your wiles to lure in strangers...tie them to big soft beds and....
A 19-year old virgin, you live in the Castle
Anthrax. You use your wiles to lure in
strangers...tie them to big soft beds and....

a few immature posts ... what? did you think i'd post otherwise?

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

Your Boobies' Names Are: Twin Peaks

Your Girl Parts Are Named: Twat Waffle

It's Not Sex. It's ... :
Sinking the Titanic

my resume, if you please.

i gave up the ghost on my NaNoWriMo blog, considering it's the 3rd week and i haven't actually begun to write. yet. so instead i posted my resume. it's down there under the heading "my resume." i know, i know. it should be under the "genius" heading, but i needed to separate myself from the crowd, so i went inconspicuous.

betting the nuts.

not such a great night at the bowling alley last night. high score: 134.
all scores: 108, 109, 102, 111, 122, 134, 121, 85.
the boys won. glad i didn't bet the nuts on it.
i think i'm going to go tomorrow after work at do some bowling on my own. i don't know why i just can't stay consistent any more. :(
i'm learning how to quilt now. a lady who's friends with one of my customers is teaching me, and i'm excited. now i can finish my gram's quilt from the '20s. i've been carrying it around from apt. to apt. since she died 6 years ago (that's 7 apts) and now i may actually be able to finish it. well, not now, but maybe another 6 years from now.
so popular writers not to ever read: fern michaels, james patterson. more to come, i'm sure. i read a james patterson novel two days ago (violets are blue) and it was so bad, i just don't understand how he gets published. or on any bestsellers lists. geez! people, get a clue! yesterday i read night spider by john lutz. it wasn't entirely bad -- there were some good things about it, but there was an inconsistency with the names early on -- he uses the name anne when he meant to use a different name. the editors should have picked up on that.
tonight is a different book; i'll let you know how it is. unless i just watch law & order all night, which is a distinct possibility. i was going to watch requiem for a dream but christen still has the ps2 set up for gta and i don't know how to switch back over to the dvd player. i hate watching dvds on the ps2 because i can't control it the same way. stupid game.


a day without chocolate is a day wasted.

that's what my dove dark chocolate promise said, anyhow. doesn't your chocolate talk to you? for shame.
i spent two hours at the mall today in a not-so-horrible shopping trip to find some new black pants. i didn't find any at ny & co., although i tried on every kind they had (seven different styles) but i bought a couple of really great striped button-downs, and i found some black pinstripe pants at old navy and a nice striped button-down there too. so i spent far too much money, but i've been doing really good, and if i do get this job i'll need clothes for work (no uniform, huzzah!) . i really hate shopping, so i was amazed it went so well. i have an interview with that lady at 9am on thursday and i need to be ready and lookin' good wouldn't hurt. i picked up crab rangoon and white rice for dinner and now i'm trying to do research for a couple of articles i'm trying to write for today's cacher. i hope they work out alright. more later, bored now.

nebraska ave. is the only place for whores.

they want to change the name of nebraska ave. to ray charles blvd. (hey, i'm down here on the corner of ray charles and dr. martin luther king) because nebraska has been synonomous with drugs and prostitution. i say no! how else will we know how to find the heroin and pussy?


in other news...

high score: 148.
all scores: 145, 113, 103, 122, 148. it was wave, trough, wave.
i finished one door away from heaven. i feel cheated. i read an entire science-fiction novel without realizing it was one until most of the way through. and then, of course i was going to finish it; i just felt it was unjustly put in the horror section. it was way too removed from reality. i know that koontz often has wisps of supernatural in his books; indeed, often it is the central theme. but those books are also much better than this one -- better spun. and i read all 681 pages.
i met with that woman about finishing my quilt. it would cost about $400 to finish it, so instead she's going to teach me how to quilt so i can finish gram's quilt myself. it will be beautiful (at least, from afar) and i'll post pictures in 10 years when i finish. i'm scared to death to touch it with a needle, afraid i'll mess it up royally. i've pretty much mastered all other sewing (well, i can't follow patterns but i do well enough without them) but i'm scared of touching my gram's quilt.
i got an email today from someone offering me a job. i emailed her back (yes!!!!) but really i think my reply was rather stilted. since the job pertains to proofreading, i read over the email i sent several times to be sure everything was capitalized correctly and was elequent and spelled correctly and i accidentally left out my personality. i hope that doesn't make a difference; my winning personality would definitely shine through in interview if i could get past the um's (you know, the um, yeah i know i could, uh, do whatever is needed, um, of me). and BTW, she mispelled it's (the email said its temp-to-perm instead of it's). i wonder if i pointed that out if i'd get the job?
dinner: tuna fish sandwich and sweet tea. yum. christen doesn't like tuna, so i chose tonight to make myself some since he's working and doesn't have to endure the smell (i lit candles for the dolphins).


how about that?

Outgoing (E) 69.44% Withdrawn (I) 30.56%
Imaginative (N) 66.67% Realistic (S) 33.33%
Emotional (F) 60% Intellectual (T) 40%
Improvised (P) 51.35% Organized (J) 48.65%
Your type is: ENFP
You are an Inspirer, possible professions include - conference planner, speech pathologist, HR development trainer, ombudsman, clergy, journalist, newscaster, career counselor, housing director, character actor, marketing consultant, musician/composer, artist, information-graphics designer, human resource manager, merchandise planner, advertising account manager, dietitian/nutritionist, speech pathologist, massage therapist, editor/art director.
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over the meadow and through the woods...

i'm off to mom's house today. i would have already left, but i made an appointment of sorts in town here at around 9:30, and while most people would be thrilled to get appointments over with, i don't know if the appointees would appreciate me knocking on their door at 8:30 this morning. i'll wait till almost 9:30, i think.
so my appointment is with this lady who might finish my gram's quilt for me. since my gram died nearly 5 years ago i've been carrying around this unfinished quilt from home to home (i've moved ... 6 times since then) and i would really like to get it finished (i'd really like to finish it myself, actually, but i'm scared to near it with a needle). it's nearly 8 feet squared and really nice -- i've gotten in approximately dated to the 30s. but there's this guy who always comes into work and ships singer sewing machines and he told me he sells them mostly to quilters, so i asked him where i could get this finished and he called his wife and put her on the phone and her friend is in town for a few months (snowbird, i guess) and could do it. so i told them i'd drop it off on my way out of town so she could get a look at it. i'm so excited!
i bid on a new phone for my mom. she broke the last one, so she's completely without a phone except ian's that his dad pays for. so i bid on one for $40. hopefully i get it because she's been without a phone for awhile and i can't afford one of those really expensive ones. it's only at $26 right now and there's 2 hours to go, so we'll see when i get home if i won it or not. it's a LG-VX510 (i think) -- the little black flip one that they have -- it's actually the same one she just killed, so i know she'll like it. she's been through 3 phones since i gave her the phone and started paying her service, which was 1 1/2 years ago or so.
i think i'll take my sister geocaching today. she always asks if we can go and i stopped leaving the stuff in my car, so this time i'll throw it in there. also i'll take my bowling shoes in case she wants to go bowling. since she's growing up, i've become so much closer to my sister than my brother. when he was young we were inseparable and she was the outcast because she was a baby and was very needy. plus i couldn't tow her on my bike. i could take him anywhere, and i did, but i tried to tow her once and she stuck her foot in the spokes and almost broke her leg -- quite literally. we were all crying, and that was the last time that ever happened.
but now she's 12, which makes ian 14 and he's hopeless right now. if i'm not an animated video game, he's not interested (and no, i'm not a video game). but she always wants to hang out with me and know about my interests and spend the night -- like we're friends, and it's very cool. i wish they lived closer (but christen doesn't because then they'd always be over.) i'm only 24, so the gap seems to be getting closer as she ages. she looks up to me and i can ask her questions to make sure she's not fucking up her life, and what to watch out for so no one takes advantage of her like they did me. and she knows what happened to me when i was her age, so she's better off. my stepfather is her "father", but she's adopted so that doesn't have to stop anything in his mind. and she's damn cute.


it was my first real 6-string...

bought it at the five and dime. played it till my fingers bled. was the summer of '69.
i made creamy chicken pasta for breakfast. maybe i'll have a toaster strudel for lunch. you know, for balance.
i had a really wierd dream last night, but i don't remember all of it. -- there were children (mine) with downs syndrome, and lots of shooting near my old high school and some sex (not with the children -- what are you, some kind of perv?) and ... i just can't remember it, but it was really wierd in a kind of good way. maybe it's because i went to bed when christen was still playing gta san andreas. i tried to play but i can't drive the dern car. i get stuck in a back alley when i'm trying to take a whore to her john and lose the pimping mission trying to pull back out.
i wasted two hours of my life last night reading a fern michaels book. never read a fern michaels book. it was one of the ones that melissa gave me and i thought "well, i've never read a fern michaels books so what the hey." no. bad idea. it had so many errors and was so confusing without having a knowledgeable plot to begin with ... ack! i can't believe i read the whole thing. yes i can, because unless i lose a book, i will finish it one way or another. and it only took 2 hours; it's not like the book was hard to read or 800 pages or anything. no worse than sitting through dogville. that was 3 hours of my life.
i feel it necessary to justify my lack of caps. jordan criticized me last week saying that my grammer was terrible (how dare he?) because i don't capitalize anything. well, maybe i don't feel that any one word is more important that any other word. i am no more important than you or bob or scuba. so there. or maybe i'm just lazy and am used to ms word capping everything that should be.

in my father's house (cue christian music)

my parents split when i was 5. i don't remember much of before i was 5 except a few hefty duty fights, and i do remember my room. i remember our oscar fish (look it up, it's a damn ugly fish) committing suicide by jumping out of its tank in the living room and flopping into the kitchen and dying on the linoleum before we got home. he had done this before but we had been able to rescue him before death. i remember my mom telling me when there wasn't a santa claus because we were poor and she didn't want me to think that when i didn't get the appropriate amount of gifts that i would think i had been bad (although there was that little bag of coal in my stocking every year. ... some jokes never wear thin.) i remember learning to ride a bike without training wheels (they put me on a 10-speed and pushed me down a hill) and i remember my dad leaving on my birthday and taking the coffee table so we had my cake on a cardboard box.
but after the split i only remember certain things about being at my dad's house. they are all good memories and i relive them sometimes.
-- wrestling. i hate wrestling, but when i was over, dad and i would watch it and mimic their moves in the living room. they wrestled, we wrestled. i think i won a few more times than necessary, and i think my dad body slammed me more than neccessary (but it was great fun).
--swanson's chicken and dumplings. dad couldn't cook, really, so everytime i went to his house and stayed for lunch or dinner he brought out the can of swanson's. i haven't had this as an adult so i don't know if it's any good, but it was dern tasty at dad's house. if i was there for breakfast we had ...
--eggs over easy and limp bacon. he liked the meat part of the bacon cooked and the fat limp and uncooked. i can't eat it that way now, but it was good there.
--denorex shampoo. in college i started getting anxiety attacks that started with a bad case of ecsema (sp? anyone?) and would scratch my scalp raw and even a little sticky. so i got some denorex and i was seriously transported back to childhood. my dad used denorex almost exclusively, and when i spent the night i would have to use that smelly dark brown shampoo too. good times.
atari-- dad had one of the ones that had a white ball you rolled around instead of a regular controller, and we'd play pong and snake for hours and hours and hours and hours ... well, you get the drift.
--wide brimmed straw hats and cheap plastic sunglasses. my dad is a surveyor for the city, so he wears these ugly straw hats and sunglasses. when i was little he'd always leave them on the passenger seat and i'd invariably sit on one or the other, ruining it. there's a guy who comes in to OD regularly who wears the same straw hat and the same uniform (white polo shirt with the city seal and khakis) and i get a little homesick everytime i see him. the first time i gushed at great length about how he looked like my dad, but he really doesn't. he just walks the same and wears the same clothes.
--buttered noodles. this one is from before the divorce, but i attach it to my dad so i'm including it too. dad was on a bowling league when i was real small, and every thursday night we would go there while he bowled and then we'd have dinner at the little restaraunt there. i was a picky little shit and i wouldn't eat anything on the menu so the cook took pity on me and would make me buttered egg noodles for dinner. i completely forgot about this until college when i picked up a bag of no-egg egg noodles for beef stroganoff and had a bowl of buttered noodles and freaked out when i remembered. for a week after i ate nothing but egg noodles for dinner.
i think that's all the memories i have of my dad in connection with my childhood. i've used many of those memories in poems and short stories ... so they're copywrited. hehe. i began an actual relationship with him in '96 when everything came out about my stepfather's sexual abuse.


trailers for sale or rent...

...rooms to let, fifty cents.
i listened to the swingers soundtrack on the way to work today for a change of pace. most of the album is so good, and then you get stuck with "she thinks i still care" or something like that. oi. but it had "king of the road" on it (not really a great driving song, i kinda need something faster) and "you're nobody till somebody loves you." ahh, great stuff. i love tooling around in my little car with the ultra black tint and the nifty rims and 50s music blaring out of the car. gives people a nice reality check.
i talked to jesus about how he had to change his bank account because someone got his numbers when he ordered checks last month. now i'm worried -- i'm glad i didn't uncheck the box for fraud protection that cost $1 per box of checks. i don't know what they'd do, but i'm happy for protection. that's why i'm on the pill, after all. (oh, and jesus is pronounced hay-zeus, you heathens. but it's really funny at work when he puts something on hold and the packaging says "hold for jesus. will purchase friday." i always get a giggle.
went to the mall to buy pants with christen and i kept trying to fall asleep on his shoulder. i think this time change is effecting me pretty bad. the biorhythms are off and everything. i always wake up at 9 at the latest now (before it was 10:30 unless i was sick) but i'm tired by 7pm. hope my body catches up to the earth one of these days before march when it goes forward again.


which describes how you're feeling all the time ...

i wonder if i write in single lines if it'll fill up faster.
if you can read it easier.
but then it looks kinda wierd.
of course, there are fifty-one characters per line.
so if i filled most of the fifty-characters ...
yeah, it could work.
okay, that was an exercise in futility. i had to go to the bank today and spend $1.50 on 8 checks so i could pay my bills this month. i forgot to order checks. okay, so i didn't forget. i haven't had to order checks in 2 1/2 years, so i didn't realize when i went to pay my bills that i didn't have checks to pay them with. today i ordered these adorable froggie checks -- fernando in the blue convertible did it for me. i tried to have a fudgecicle (is that how you spell it? looks kinda wierd) for dinner because christen decided to eat without me and we didn't have any bread for pb&j but it made me feel icky so i had ramen too. now i just feel all over icky. and there's nothing good on tv. law & order, where are you when i need you?
i started another book last night. it's alright though, because i finished it today. cold heart, by ... oh heck, some hard-boiled writer. it was actually pretty good, in the murder she wrote sort of way. i don't know where i put one door away from heaven so i figured i'd pick something else for the night. i got really into it and was reading today at work (those drawers under the till have to be good for something) and finished when i got home. sometimes i love easy-peasy reading sometimes.
i need some sleep, i think. dern 7am worktimes.
more tomorrow.


quite possibly more tired than when i woke up.

i'm tired and my head hurts. and when i blogskim all i get is politics. somebody shoot me now.
i take that back. i also get hong kong, random anime stuff, and steel houdini penis cages.
i need to get out of the house, so i think i'll see if jordan wants to go to target or barnes&nobles or something ... update -- he has class so maybe i'll go to b&n myself. i've spent far too much time home today, since i'm off, but i'm afraid of spending more money. hmmm ... jo ann's fabrics isn't particularly far away ...

ummm ... oi is all i can say.

castor conceded. south carolina here i come.
i wish, but you know i won't get off my butt and move. the lease is up in august 2005, and we'll see what christen and i have decided by then. probably nothing, if the last 2 years is a shadow of things to come. i did, however, finally put up some things on my profile (books music interests, you know the dealio) and started blogskimming by that. i was just annoyed by those blogs that come up when you hit "next" that say "upgrade your explorer right now!" and you have to keep closing the little buttons that jump up. they annoy the crap out of me. also, when people spell things wrong on purpose like shortening words like people to ppl (is this trivial pursuit? i think not). and little cutsy type ... arg! so i made a profile simply so i could look at other people's blogs a different way and not have to deal with all that pain in rear.

should i post it?

i'm thinking of posting my resume as a sidebar blog. what do you think? i wouldn't do anything stupid like post phone numbers and addresses, but i would post experience and such. any thoughts? i need a new job.

life's just a mood ring we're not allowed to see...

and this is what it said to me ...
at least something good came out of the election. i started a new book, so a prayer for owen meany is officially on hold. it helps that owen meany is in christen's truck and i haven't been able to read it, but i could at any time go get it out of the car. it's safer there. i started one door away from heaven by dean koontz, which i thought that i had read before but evidentally i hadn't and just had seen it at the bookstore. Melissa let me root through a box of books her aunt gave her and i took half. she has six more boxes. christen is going to repeal the book giveaway, i know it. like florida repealed the highspeed railway, i'm telling you.
anywho, i'm all confused on the days here. saturday night i went to a party at justin's. everyone got so trashed. i didn't, because i had to be at work at 9 the next morning, but holy cow .... there was some serious inhibitions being lowered. i left around 12 but i got to hear about it from those who remembered it the next day. oi. 'sall i can say. i wore my ren fest costume and as people got drunker they were more forward about how much my boobs popped out (no nipplidge, i swear!) and justin's father-in-law hit on everyone. good times.
election day i got up early to vote. in line: 8:30am. out of line: 9:50am. at work: 10:04am. due at work: 10am.
i got to read about 100 pages of my book though. i would have read more but i had to keep reading full pages because strange people with signs were distracting me. there were 8 ne w amendments, and i voted no on one and yes on all the others. i hate when votes like that don't go my way -- i reason them out and think i pick the rational answer, and when the majority does not come up with what i come up with, i get concerned with my peers. i think the legalese gets to people and they christmas tree the damn thing. and then there's the senate race. mel the dick is ahead by 1/2 a percentage point and has already declared his win though castor hasn't and won't concede because there are still 250 thousand provisional votes to count. 250,ooo! WTF is wrong with mel martinez? castor is such the better candidate. she's the education commissioner, former president of usf, has a good business head and a conscience. mel? yeah, he's a jerk. the race was ugly, and he reached more people than he should have with his nasty commercials. and ... the dern presidential debate. i don't want to talk about it.
oh ... sidebar. tommy lee is on regis and i think he's the only rocker from that era that is still gorgeous, and not completely trashy like pamela. and man is he eye candy. yum yum. except the nose ring -- i'm not into piercings that cause asymmetry. he needs a cheek piercing to offset the nose, and maybe get a stud instead of the hoop. then he'd be absolutely yummy. christen points out guys on the television and as we walk by that i'd like "you'd date him" and "he looks like someone you could be into."... he's usually right. it's amusing how he's resigned himself to knowing he's not my type and i so fiercely love him so he can pick out guys that i would be attracted to. you know, skater types, slightly geeky guys, usually really slender, tattoos and piercings a plus. i only have a tongue ring and a tattoo on my leg but i think they are so sexy. yum yum. and if jeremy ever finishes my frog tattoo that he's been working on for 3 years now i'll have 2 tatts.
back to election. i was up till after 3am trying to watch, and i fell asleep on the couch so christen woke me up at 5 when he got up for work and carried me into bed so he could snuggle with me for 10 minutes before leaving.
quote of the moment: kelly to tommy: "what women in the audience really want to know is how do you get backstage?"
tommy likes toe cleavage. hmm.


before high noon.

my high score last night: 156.
all six games: 86, 122, 102, 119, 156, 149.
i need my own ball. last night when we got there someone else had my ball and i had to plead with the geeky guy to let me have it. i don't know if anyone was using it, but it was on their lane so i flirted and the ball was mine. :) guys will always give up the ball for a little flirting. i use a 12lber with itty bitty holes, and that one ball is the only one like it. maybe i'll get my mom to get me one for christmas. she can get me a gift certificate for sports authority, and we'll be good.
i was a productive little girl today. i got up at 9 (it may be helping that the time change makes my body still think it's later than it really is) and cleaned up my desk and started laundry, went to the library to get a new library card (my library isn't doing the vote early stuff, so i probably won't do it. i'll try to get up early tomorrow and vote before work.) went to the grocery store and spent far too much money (but i needed things like conditioner and toothpaste and toilet paper -- stuff that you don't need every trip), put the laundry in the dryer cleaned out the fridge and pantry and cleaned up the kitchen. oh, and i piled the trash by the front door to take out when i go to get the laundry.
the new issue of today's cacher is out. check out the "about us" page at the bottom -- i've been included! you actually get to see what i look like too, if you care. it's a pretty good issue, and i got to learn how to put up the html for the pages and work with the stylesheets, and i copyedited a lot of the pages. i'm so happy to be doing something that i love -- now to find one that pays so i can drop OD and i'll be thrilled.
why doesn't publix sell shortgrain rice? i have to go all the way to the asian market near work to get some. maybe i'll do it tomorrow. it'll probably be cheaper. publix did have some, but there were little cans for 5.99. ridiculous.
more later, cleaning now.