demented mouthpiece

So a couple weeks ago I bought a mouth guard. It cost $18.99 and entailed boiling in water, shaping to my teeth and submerging in ice water. A real ordeal, I'm telling you. The reason I bought such a thing is because I grind my teeth while I sleep. It keeps Christen awake, and I'm pretty sure it is the source of my migraines. TMJ disorders beware!

The first night I woke up early and it was still in my mouth. The second night I woke up and found it underneath me. Since then I've found it back on my nightstand, between pillows, under me, under Christen, and tangled in the sheets at the end of the bed. The good news? I haven't been grinding my teeth. The bad? I'm having anxiety over losing this damn mouth guard in the middle of the night, it falling on the ground and Lola having a new chew toy. I wish I could silly putty it to my teeth so it would stay in my mouth. It's really tight -- I have to actually be pushing it out in the middle of the night. Or it's getting up and running away, which I wouldn't put past it.