Love & Marriage

Does it ever worry you that so many of our contemporaries are already divorced? I saw a girl I went to school in Target today, and asked her how things were ... asked her what her last name was (haha), whether it was still her maiden or if she had gotten married by now. She said it was, and then it was another and now she's back to first again. And on MySpace I've met up with so many old friends who married and divorced, a few of them more than once by now. And I'm only in my mid-20s! So who's to say that my marriage will work? Why should I be any different?

I know that I feel more for Christen than I've ever felt for anyone. That even after almost 4 years together, a look from him can still make my heart flutter. I've never needed someone so much and yet been capable of having my own life with him in it rather than making him my whole life. He's the straight man to my craziness -- calm and easygoing and quiet. But has the capacity to be the biggest goof I've ever met.

How do I know, though? Didn't they all feel the same way before too?


moon said...

There are certainly no guarantees..you have to work at making it work and comunicate even when it seems impossible. Even then, things happen in our lives we have to deal with. I just got married myself, less then 2 months ago..we have been together 4 yrs now and blissfully happy. I am 43 yrs old and in the past I had one very long relationship of 14 yrs but never married for whatever reason but glad of that today. It took me this long to find THE ONE... am I sure it will be for the rest of our lives? No, but I sure hope we can make it that long. I hope the same for you...
I popped by from Michele's, have a great day.

Grins said...

If it makes you feel better April, I knew my marriage was a mistake the day of my wedding. That you didn't feel that way is a GOOD sign. ;-)

Leah said...

Its good you feel that way still. For a marriage to last, it does need that "in-love" feel to it most if not all the time.

I've been married 7 years and still in love as well.

panthergirl said...

Well, as one who has been married three times, I can answer this one:

I knew my first was a mistake the night we were married. I looked at him and though, "I'm never going to sleep with anyone else, in my LIFE? Oops."

The second, I knew loved my daughter and although I loved him as a person, knew on some level that we weren't meant to be. Still, I wanted a father for my daughter.

The third was everything the second wasn't (artistic, well-read, creative) but if he had been my first, we would have been divorced much sooner than we were. It was hard to admit a mistake the THIRD TIME.

Here via michele!

the frog princess said...

We're getting married April 15th -- We've been together since December 2002. Which is longer than any other relationship either of us have had, and with my last one I was engaged but I couldn't stand the sight of him after 1 1/2 -- I was a codependent little shit with him. Couldn't stand him, couldn't break up with him.

This is nothing like that. I didn't know I could be so happy until we were together.

Yaeli said...

Oh my god! You have just written exactly what has been going through my head lately!

I just got engaged last week and am thrilled to pieces, but knowing that my parents between them have had 5 divorces means that I can't escape the reality that sometimes things just don't work out.

For better or for worse, divorce is easier these days. So maybe people are just lazier, or less tolerant of their partners than our grandparents were.

Michele sent me.

Jamie said...

There's a stastic that says couple who wed after 25 have an 80% chance of staying married. That's much better odds then those who marry younger. Odds are in your favor!

NPR Junky said...

You know, paying too much attention to odds like those can really mess you up.

You're happy with Christen, and it just matters how you treat each other in the relationship and not what everyone else is doing, you know?

It is rather scary that so many people get divorced, but I think that's more most people don't want to be alone than anything else.