Lexiconal Orgy, Month One

In the spirit of The Polysyllabic Spree my first month of 100 books/year will be documented much like the book:

Books Bought:
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street by Helene Hanff
The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
Benjamin Franklin & Polly Baker A History of Literary Deception by Max Hall
The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester
Don't Tell the Grown-ups -- The Subversive Power of Children's Literature by Alison Lurie

Books Read:
The Polysyllabic Spree by Nick Hornby
The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street by Helene Hanff
The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
The Professor and the Madman by Simon Winchester
We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver
Dogfight and other stories by Michael Knight
As I Lay Dying by Faulkner (abandoned)

Ask about them if you want, I'll be honest!

How to deal with a dog who's dealing with an opossum:

A Follow-up:

Grab tail
pull into house
barracade doggy door.

how to dispose of an opossum:

take shovel.
use your imagination.

She bangs

There's this strip club that I drive by everyday on my way to work and they have the greatest billboards. Last year around Christmas it said, "Have yourself some Mary for Christmas" and this year after New Years it said, "Break your resolutions here". This week's is "We play well with others." I find myself looking forward to the new one every week. I want to know who comes up with these things. Probably not the people who work there (not to knock strippers, Autumn I know you tried it for 3 weeks) ... is there a stripper net (not fishnet) where they can get these? So funny.

There was a bicycle place in Tampa that did the same thing. But the story about that isn't as funny as a strip club.

Courtesy of NPRJunkie

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Aprilbapryll!

1. To check whether aprilbapryll is safe to eat, drop her in a bowl of water; rotten aprilbapryll will sink, and fresh aprilbapryll will float.
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3. It takes 17 muscles to smile, and 43 to frown at aprilbapryll!
4. India tested its first nuclear aprilbapryll in 1974!
5. The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book which does not mention aprilbapryll.
6. Aprilbapryll has a memory span of three seconds.
7. Aprilbapryll will give a higher yield if milked when listening to music.
8. Aprilbapryll is the world's smallest mammal.
9. Aprilbapryll will often glow under UV light.
10. Aprilbapryll is often used in place of milk in food photography, because milk goes soggy more quickly than aprilbapryll!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

To breathe or not to breathe

So I've gotten myself out of that little funk I seemed to have been in earlier, but I have neglected to do a single thing except waste away the day on MySpace. The funny thing is, I've been a member for months but I've never actually done anything on it. Today I decided to update my pictures and profile and search and do all those things I never cared to do before. I've actually been catching up with a couple old friends I hadn't spoken to since high school. Creepy, eh? It's been nice; a very relaxing day. See, I guess I do that every once in awhile.

News flash: Chicken & Dumplings from a can are no good. Hear me? No good. Ick. I decided on a bologna & cheese sandwich for dinner after the great dumpling debacle, mostly because I didn't feel like defrosting and cooking for just one person. See, I get it. It just doesn't make sense to cook that much as a single person. I'm so glad that's not usually me. Not that's bad for you single people, it's just ... well, it sucks for me. I'm a (hold on while I look up the phobias) monophobic. Or autophobic. You choose. This is why I go to Barnes & Noble to read books I have at home.

Speaking of books, I'm finishing up In Cold Blood by Capote. L, you bought this last time we went shopping -- you should make sure you read it; I liked it a lot.

Anywhos, I think I'm going to go paste myself to a book. It's been fun, fellas (don't ask me, I don't know where that just came from).

relaxing? wha?

It's been a lonely busy weekend for me. Christen's working, so I should be hanging out or having fun or something, but somehow I decided that wasn't for me, so I've been brooding about doing all the housework myself while in fact doing all the housework. I changed bulbs I've been waiting for him to change, installed the doorknob I figured he'd do, did four loads of laundry that I hoped he'd start on his last day off which didn't happen. I know I should just tell him that I'm unhappy that I seem to be doing all the work, but somehow it doesn't come out of my mouth. Today I plan on alphabetizing the cds and set up the nintendo and phone system that he's been saying he'd do, and maybe I'll clean my car (that's another one). This morning I read the paper and had a mini quiche out on the deck while Lola laid at my feet.

She's decided to use the doggie door. I was so happy I kept going in and out the regular door so that she'd follow me through her door. It's like my new favorite toy!

I have nothing else to say, really. I'm going to go on about my brooding. Happy trails!

relaxing? wha?

It's been a lonely busy weekend for me. I could have been relaxing, as Christen works all weekend and tonight is playing poker with the boys (I was invited but I'm not driving all the way out there to drive all the way back)

relaxing? wha?

It's been a lonely busy weekend for me. I could have been relaxing, as Christen works all weekend and tonight is playing poker with the boys (I was invited but I'm not driving all the way out there to drive all the way back)

Life as we know it?

Sadly, I am writing this one at work, as the system has been down for nearly two hours and I've run out of non-computer related busy work. It has been an interesting week, and I have the stories to prove it!

Here's my favorite:
Saturday Christen and I got a doggy door for the sliding glass door and decided to install it. As he was putting it in, he thought he'd clean out the tracks, so he took one of the doors off and leaned it up against the wall outside on the deck. Now, you people not in Tampa need to know that it was very blustery and windy that day. Christen was cleaning out the track, Lola was milling around on the deck and the wind was blowing, when all of a sudden the wind picks up behind the glass door and flips it onto the deck! The dog yelped and ran, and I went to go check on her when Christen picked the door back up -- not broken, but there was a streak of dirt spots all down the front. At first he thought it was dirt from the deck. He looked at it, then he stuck his finger in it and sniffed ...

... you know the phrase, "scared the shit out of her" ?? ... yep, that's what it was -- all over the sliding door. I caught up with her in the yard -- cowering by the corner of the house, and it was all over her backside too, so I cleaned her up, and thankfully she wasn't hurt. But she didn't venture back onto the deck for about a half hour, and she still won't go through the doggy door unless we hold the flap open for her. Anybody know how to teach her to go through it?

***

The other thing is that I found out that my foot problem is dyshidrotic eczema. And it's a really bad case of it. This is why I'm having issues walking. I was given a cream and a foot regiment and a derm appt. I really can't wait for the derm appointment, because I have other patches of light eczema and I really want something to fix that too -- yay! Hopefully I'll be able to wear heels again in 4 weeks! I'm so sick of wearing loafers.

***

So did you watch American Idol last night? I couldn't really get into it at all. I DVR'd Scrubs and Love Monkey for Christen and watched AI, but I just wasn't that impressed by anyone yet. I know it's early -- but I was much more into it even from the beginning last season -- and that was the only season I cared at all. I think they were delirious letting the last guy on though. They were just looking for comic relief for Hollywood.

***

So I've been on facebook for a while but I'm really not that into it -- I don't care one way or the other. Every once in awhile I get into it and search or update stuff, but whatever. And I never got into MySpace at all. Well, my friend at work (Other April) has been talking about it lately so I went on this morning, and goodness gracious. There are a lot of people I know. So maybe I'll get a little more into it (right now I have 3 friends: Rese, L, and Jamie) ... maybe, we'll see.

Anyhow, I'm going to go read while I wait for the system to come back up. I've been a really good reader this month -- probably because it's the first month. I'll give an end-of-the month synopsis in a couple weeks, probably phrased like the Polysyllabic Spree: books I've bought, books I've read. See you!

Being driven a little crazy

So I had this dream last night. About this guy at work. And when I woke up I threw up a little in my mouth.

He had a multicolor penis. Black and shiny on the outside and florescent pink and yellow all over. That's really all I have to say, right?

Thought so.

It happened one Tuesday

After an aborted effort to wake me up this morning, Lola decided to pee inside the house. On. My. Laptop.

I have to explain where it was and why. Although I don't keep it in the oven, I do generally leave it on the sofa. Last night we decided to move the sofa and the television to the new house, leaving the laptop to nap on the floor. Rather, I found that it is a very good thing that since the fans are on the bottom, we use it on a lapdesk to keep it cool, because when I picked it up it was the computer this morning to check my email I found the bottom of the lapdesk to be wet, and then my robe to be ... wet. So I checked the area where my computer was laying and lo and behold! A puddle.

Now she doesn't mess in the house that often, generally just when she didn't go out late enough at night and I neglect to wake up when she paws at my back in the morning. So I couldn't punish her. But why next to my computer? Why? Damn dog.

I'm not telling Christen. He. Would. Murder. Her.

Laptop still works. Robe needs to be washed.

In other news, tonight the bed is to be moved and then we will be staying in the new house fulltime. Christen closes on Wednesday so I'll be able to clean up and organize. Organize, organize, organize! Thursday the cable dudes give me internet at the new house and voila! Then it is home. I'm having a superbowl/housewarming/birthday party for friends on, well, Superbowl Sunday, so that gives me a little over 2 weeks for it to be perfect. Anybody have a pool table or fooseball table I can buy? Cheap? And a spare bed for the spare room?

Heaven is where the books are.

Yesterday I spent 4 hours arranging my library in the new house. And I still have books piled everywhere. The problem is that I have one more 5 shelf bookscase left here at the old house that needs to be brought over and I left all the pegs at home for the two that are currently sitting in the living room of the new place because I'm unable to fill them without the shelves. And I can't put the shelves in them without the pegs. Of the two unfilled bookcases at the new house, the big one will stay in the living room and house our DVD collection because I haven't found anything better to hold that monstrosity, and the thinner 5-shelf bookcase will hold my cookbooks and wineglasses. I've filled 4 3-shelfers and 2 2-shelfers (4 shelves are double-packed) with books, and once the last 5-shelf case gets over there I might not have books stacked all over the floors anymore. Maybe. hehehe ...

The day was wonderful, all that book arranging and then my siblings decided to ride their bikes to the new house to hang out and help a little bit -- we built a media case for the cds. Later the Brother and I went to Barnes & Nobles to spend our gift cards (Thank you, L ... I got F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Beautiful and Damned, Nick Hornby's The Polysyllabic Spree -- A hilarious and true account of one man's struggle with the monthly tide of books he's bought and the books he's been meaning to read (sound familiar? yeah, to me too) and an Encyclopedia of Wine, because I really need someone to tell me what the different kinds of wine are and what the flavors are and where it's good from, without giving me a wine guide that tells me that this $50 bottle has a rating of 98 ... What the hell is that? I need a book explaining the ratings to me. And I need a wine guide that focuses solely on bottles of wine $15 and less. Because I will "try" a $10-12 bottle of wine and if it's no good, oh well. But I don't spend more than that ... ever on a bottle. And I never branch out in my wine buying, because I'm scared of what I don't know. I'm a doofus about wine. And I'd like to know more without being one of those wine-os (not to be confused with winos, the ones on the street with the $3 jug of wine). The Brother bought Hunter S. Thompson's Rum Diary and Sarah Vowell's Partly Cloudy Patriot, which I read and is fabulous. I love that boy.

Did I tell you they medicated him? They started him on liquid Paxil, but two-three weeks into it and he's having trouble with it. He says it quashes his creativity and he can't puzzle like he used to. Which is a common complaint with austic kids, I've heard. So mom is going to change his psychiatrist (the school forced her to take him to a psychiatrist because they can't figure out how to deal with him ... stupid school) because the shrink says he's not autistic, just clinically depressed (so evidently he's been depressed since he was in second grade). She hopes a new shrink will understand him better and change his script to a different anti-anxiety ... anyone out there know anything about Asberger's and what's good to treat it? And does it come in liquid form? He can't take pills, even vitamins ...

But I'm able to spend more time with the Sibs, and I missed that. I told them they can come over any time, they just have to call first and make sure I'm not busy and I'm home. Today I'll be going back over to do some more cleaning and to take everything else I possible can. Wish me luck! It'll be a home before you know it!

I swore I'd buy an elliptical

Driving to the new house last night, I realized that there's a gym within walking distance. I pointed this out to Christen, but I know neither of us will join. However, in the area that I'm moving it promises to be full of housewives, I'm sure. I wonder if any of them are desperate ...

It's early, and it's cold. My computer tells me it's 47 degrees outside. I know, you people in the upper parts of the world are saying, "Bloody hell, we could only wish for 47-degree weather." You know what? Suck it. I live in Florida for a reason -- the only reason, mind you. I'm cold-blooded. I can't take the cold. I can't really take the heat either, but unfortunately I haven't found a place that evens out at 74 degrees (72 is still a little chilly). Do you know of one? Can I find an editing job there?

I was evaluating my yearning to read 150 books this year. I know I made the rule, but can it include books I've already read? Because I'm thinking it might be hard to hit that number, since I'm going to have to start studying for my insurance license. I'm reading Simon Winchester's The Professor and the Madman about an editor and a contributor (2 people) of the Oxford English Dictionary, and I have to say, it's not organized very well. And it rambles. But I'm moving along through it, except that I left it at work so I can't read it over the weekend. Perhaps I'll read We Need to Talk about Kevin since I've been hearing such good things about it. It's been sitting in my bookshelves for nearly a year while I read Hornby, Palhanuik, Worrall, and Steinbeck.

Here are goals that I can't control but wish I could: Janet Fitch and Alice Sebold need to come out with more books. I can't take it anymore. They need to start writing at a faster pace.

Today is the day I go to the new house and organize it. And I organize my books. Wish me luck! It may take me all day :) I love that.

I missed out on the rule of threes

Things come in threes, right? When my friends got pregnant, 3 friends at a time had children (there were actually 6 people who had children in 1 1/2 years). And deaths ... deaths always come in threes ...


Well, if everything comes in threes, then I have just missed out on this round of marriages too -- first was Shea, then came Shellbell (May 21) and now Rese is getting married!

Maybe I'll get in on the next round :)

Oh happy tea day!

I love this tea:

-- and I really don't like green tea, so I only drink the black. Well I just found out that black teas are just as good for you as green teas, so now i'm totally psyched (dude... ). Not that I cared that much before as I mainly drink it for flavor rather than health benefits anyhow, but every little bit helps, right?

It's been a crazy few days with moving -- we've been moving a little bit every night because we both work every day, so all that's really left at the old house is the tv system and the couch in the livingroom and 1 bookcase and all the stuff in the bedroom. Tonight we move the last of the library and this weekend I'm going to try to organize as much as I can. Christen bought me another bookcase (hoorah!) so I'll put that together and decide where it goes too. This way I get to decide how everything is set up (see, I'm sneaky like that). Plus that way the dog can run around to her heart's content.

Speaking of Lola, she's driving me crazy! I've decided that she thinks that if she doesn't get enough attention (and she hasn't during the move) that she can start chewing on whatever she can find. That dog finds more socks to chew up than I thought I had! Last night she chewed one of my old purses from under the bed, which meant that she had to wiggle under the bed and go fishing for stuff to chew ... Damn dog. We're giving my snake to my mom because I don't really take him out of the cage that much now and he really needs to be socialized, and Christen goes (after she chewed up my most expensive pair of shoes), "Why are we giving the snake away? He doesn't chew anything but mice?"

I'd have to agree. But she's much better when she gets attention and has stuff to do. Being locked up while we move isn't the best for her. We'll have to see after we move to see if she needs obedience training or something. She used to be fine; I think she'll get better. If I don't murder her first for chewing up my shoes and socks. ....

Four feathers, four rooms, four things ...

I’m generally hit or miss on memes, but Lucky White Girl tagged me for this one and I thought it was a good way to start 2006:

Four jobs I've had in my past:

• Copy Chief for my college newspaper
• Cashier at Kash ‘n’ Karry (yes, I still remember produce codes)
• Sandwich maker at Einstein’s bagels
• Orientation Leader for the college

Four things I want to do before 2006 is over

• Send out at least one of my short stories to attempt to get published (I need a starting-off point)
• Try my hand at painting
• Start walking again (I can’t say how far or how often though)
• Read 150 books (that’s less than one every other day; I think I can do it! I’m on #3 now!)

Four things I say a lot

• Dern it (I’m hardcore, you see)
• “way” (as in, that’s way cool, I’m way tired …) (thanks, Shea)
• fabulous (thanks, Stacy)
• Yo yo yo … (but usually just to people who talk too much slang, and it’s my way to poke fun at them)

Four things I don't trust:

• Georgie Porgie (that guy that some people voted for)
• Polyester (you have to have at least one inside joke on these things)
• My brain
• Dunedin beer

Four things I do trust:

• Good wine
• My friends
• My heart
• A good book

Four people from history I'd like to meet:

• Audrey Hepburn
• Fred Astaire
• My grandfather on my dad’s side (I’ve been told that I met him, but I was too young to remember)
• F. Scott Fitzgerald

Four best movies of 2005: (everything I thought I saw in 2005 I actually saw in 2004, so this is actually both)

• Paperclips
• A Very Long Engagement
• Broken Flowers (besides the lack of an ending)
• Walk the Line
  

Four best books I read in 2005:

• The Poet and the Murderer by Simon Winchester
• East of Eden by John Steinbeck
• Speaking with the Angel by Nick Hornby
• Goodnight, Nebraska by Tom McNeal

Four people I'm tagging, if they're into it (I've no idea):

• L from Random_Speak
• Glomgold from God has Wheels
• VegasGustan of Home but Far From It
• Autumn of Autumn in New York

What the heck?

While attempting to post on a fellow Tampa blogger's site, my comment was rejected for "objectionable content." Now, given my lack of a predisposition for objectionable content, aren't you curious to know what my comment was? Well, they had been writing about how this might be Alstott's last year in the NFL, and my comment was (are you ready?):

"Did you read in Sunday's Trib that someone wants him to run for mayor? How obnoxious. I love Alstott just like the rest of the town, but I don't know about politics. It's like when Bubba ran for Sheriff. ... except Alstott's got more class."

I think that some of these sites are getting a little crazy with the comment filtering. I had the word verification on, but I even took that off (well, because I kept failing the dern thing). Don't like a comment? Delete the damn thing.

What are your thoughts on severe comment filtering?

You say up, I say down.

It's been a holiday season to forget, but likely one we will never forget. There have been surgeries, stitches, homes to be kicked out of, trucks to be totaled, cancers, bug problems, stove issues (those last two were related) ... etc, etc etc. But it is a new year, and Christen finally got a new truck, we have a new house (moving this month, you'll get updated pix once complete) and if we can get over the money crises that come with every holiday season, this year has to be better than last.

Our NYE I think was the best it's ever been, I think. No pictures, but we went to the new Green Iguana and ate outside and watched the patio fill up with drunk ugly skanks (Christen and Kyle picked out the ugliest "woman" there, and I'd have to say, she definitely fit the bill). We got there about 7:30 and left around 11:30, in time to see King Kong for midnight. It ran until 3am, but was really good (I didn't even fall asleep!) but I'd have to say GI was the best idea of the night. And it was mine! :) And I never make decisions ... hehe.

We all got drunk, and I spilled red wine down the front of me, and secrets were spilled and it was a grand way to ring in the New Year. I made resolutions I think I can make: to be on time more to work (I'm always 15-20 minutes late), to let less things bother me and therefore have a less stressful year, and just on average for this year to be better than last. I think it will be. I've got the inside scoop.

NYD was calm and quiet -- we watched the Bucs game (woohoo! Go Bucs!) and went to the bank to deposit Christmas monies and grocery shopping before returning for the late football game during which I fell asleep. This morning I took the dog for a walk to drop off our 30-day notice to the realty and sat here with you for a short time. I'm going book shopping with L, and my sister is going to help me do some moving a little later. Perhaps there will be more pictures (and maybe I'll even show you the front of the house this time!)

Toodles!

Have a good one!

Happy New Year's!