i got to see autumn's scar yesterday -- she had brain surgery last wednesday, and i finally had time to go visit her and bring her stargazer lilies. she likes calla lilies best, but i couldn't get them. the florist gauged me on the freaking stems, too. spent a few hours with her; it made me realize how much i really miss spending time with her. she's been seeing this guy david since early this year, and i think he's really stabling her out a little. and she've even stopped smoking (and still she's stable!).

i also got white roses for my gram's grave, and finally got the guts to visit it. she died in 2000 during finals week and was buried when i had to take a final (from one of those teachers who have ridiculous "no make-ups" rules) so i never went. then i was just too chicken. it's easier to forget that she's dead when i don't see it. i broke down horribly; i was hysterical. but i'm glad i went. i miss her.